• Working through it

    Let’s get the worst out of the way first I’ve been having ups and downs with anxiety lately. There have been days when I shut down and days that creativity flows. On Tuesday of this week, I started work at 6:15 AM. I was playing with recycled canvas strips, thank you Turnip Green Creative Reuse, glued onto recycled peach crate wood to insert into rectangular cutouts in the sculpture. I was excited and the ideas were coming fast. I was really enjoying myself, and BOOM, at 9 AM a wave of anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. It just appeared out of nowhere and without any worrying thoughts or triggers. I knew at that moment that it was all over and I couldn’t do another thing. I became frustrated, angry, and then tearful. I quickly prepared and drank an herbal cocktail, turned out all the lights, lit candles, and put on meditation music. I laid down and practiced the 4-7-8 breathing technique. I talked to the universe and visualized my work and what I want for my life. After about 15 minutes, I began to feel calmer. The…

  • The evolution of my process and of works in progress

    “Number One” I start each piece with a vague idea of what I want to make. I put certain shapes of paper down with the intent of creating a bump, ridge, or texture. As I go along, however, the piece takes me in directions that I hadn’t thought of initially. This was certainly the case with my very first attempt at using the recycled paper package inserts on a board substrate. The exception being that I had no idea what to do with this experimental medium. I was dissatisfied with the final green finish, second paint with embellishment image below, so I took it a bit further. I painted the whole thing with gesso and started over with the painting process. First, I started with a black wash, then dry-brushed with off-white that I mixed. I liked the white stripes that I used on “Number Six”, so I used it again here. I later added the cadmium orange center inside of a black circle, inside of the metal embellishment. This works for me, and I like the finished piece. “Number Six” This piece started out with two windows cut into…

  • Purpose

    This blog is a window into the life of a mixed media artist who is living with and overcoming multiple anxiety disorders. As a result of mental illness, I was blocked creatively for many years. I became unemployed in December of 2019 when I experienced a nervous breakdown while running the rat race in corporate America during a divorce. Over time and with professional help, the creative block has dissipated. I am so relieved to be free from this block. Design ideas sometimes flow faster than I can document what I want to make of them. I still live with anxiety and depression. Some days are bad, most are manageable, and some are even good. Living with Mental Illness If you are someone that you know is in crisis dealing with mental illness, please click the mental health resource tab on my website. I continue to add resources to this tab. Even as a child I lived with mental illness but never know what it was. I just knew that I was different from others. I felt alien and I never belonged. My anxiety manifested as stomach cramps, confusion and…